I think it actually needed all that long-wind. That was very informative. Now that you gave all that clarification, I would have to say that your final paragraph or so sounded good. I don't know what's up with your ex. Some of those things you said may be the truth. Sorry to get the wrong impression.
Sounds like she doesn't make good choices. And now that you point that out, perhaps she doesn't want to meet for exactly that reason...she doesn't want her poor choices pointed out. I honestly think you need to mostly consider your kids' safety, but you will probably mostly just be trying to be the rolemodel parent for your kids. Could you suggest that you will "babysit" if you have nothing else going on? In the long run, she is going to do whatever she is going to do and you'll have little control over it.
Berto, what if she wanted to try again with you?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
