2. Plan your weekend out FOR YOU. Pretend H doesn't exist, what would you be doing for fun, fulfillment, etc?? Do those things. If he then calls at 5:30 on Friday and wants to see you... oops, too late, you HAVE a life and you already have plans. In fact, I'd challenge you to plan a weekend so full and busy (with things you are looking forward to) that you really don't have time to see him. I'd love to see you do that this weekend but I know it's already Friday - so maybe next weekend. I'm not saying do this ALL the time, I'm saying do it once and really see what happens. I think it'll let you both test H's reaction, and learn a lot about yourself. If it makes you incredibly anxious, it tells you that you are WAY WAY to dependent on your H (at least, that's how I finally realized it).
Heh- right now an ideal weekend would be staying at home and doing next to nothing. I don't want to 'do' something the entire weekend and I hate that in order to 'prove' I have my own life, I need to get out of the house and be busy. I am naturally an introvert and when I get very busy with work (where I am forced to be more extroverted) I get pretty tired and long for my 'nest'. H's presence does not interfere with my 'nest' in the least. So, it's not so much that I look to him for my entertainment (I can be perfectly happy crafting/making beads/reading at home) - I just want to spend time with him. Still pressure, right?
The thing that makes me anxious about rebuffing him has more to do with limited time. I don't see him during the week. The weekends are pretty much our only time together and I feel like I would be cutting off my nose to spite my face. We have probably spoken a total of 45 minutes on the phone this past week, and that is WAY more than usual.
I totally get that you aren't beating me up Nikki. And I certainly appreciate your input because I totally see our similarities. I have been watching your thread; very glad you spoke up about your H attending OW bday party. I like what the MC had to say to you, too.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
