why don't I listen to my own stories?

[Trixi]

Thanks guys.
I am definitely keeping the class;no doubt about it.

Tough thing will be drumming up *something* to do tonight. I was NOT waiting to see what he would suggest; it's been a busy week and even this second I am not sure how late into the evening I will need to work. Obviously, if I don't have to work until 9pm, I am not going to drag it out just to have something to do- but I could see where I might end up having to work that late.

I guess you're right Dom. Right now I am feeling vulnerable and more attached to him than I want, but your perspective is good. Yes, he has been fairly truthful from what I can tell.


Funny thing that he doesn't know-- we are about to be forced into a month of celibacy on Monday. I am having a female procedure done Wednesday that will mean no sex for a month and no sex for two days prior to Wednesday. I cancelled this procedure back in March because I didn't want to cut him off for an entire month, knowing that we weren't on solid ground. I debated putting off the procedure this time for the same reason and have decided that since it deals with my health, I am not going to do that again.

I have had the following thought that maybe the Universe/God has stepped in: I am too weak to just cut him off with no "real" reason for me to stick to my guns. (Isn't it interesting that protecting myself from being hurt isn't a "real" enough reason?) I do believe that if I want to see his true colors, sex needs to be eliminated (for a time.) I do believe that if we are going to change the dynamic and have a deeper relationship, we are going to have to not rely on sex to be the only avenue to intimacy. It seems that it is to the point that I need to make a change because I am not happy with the direction we are going. The timing of the procedure is actually quite good and will "force" me to actually adhere to what I say.

At this point he has been moved out for 6 weeks. I suppose I could put off the procedure for another 6 weeks (ie, when the 3 months is up).....I just don't know.

I can hope that if he doesn't come over this weekend it's so he can be introspective--however, he has been keeping himself so busy, I am not positive he will do that. Especially since he hates living in an apartment. Oh well. It's his deal.

Hey Nikki- are you and your H being intimate?

Edited to add - Nikki, we crossed posted- I am going to go and read your post right now.