I'm not sure what I'd do about the lunch.... on one side you don't want secrets, especially when piecing, however you also don't want to give him ammo for thinking it's OK to keep things going with OW. I don't know if that's what it would do, but I know when I'm feeling confused about my own situation sometimes I'll use my husband's behavior to validate mine. For example, if my husband is having dinner after work with friends (and I know that means drinks at a bar and I imagine although I don't think so... possible flirtation if women are around), then I send a group text to my girlfriends arranging to meet for martinis. I think my husband has worked though his feelings that the grass is not greener on the other side, but because I've gone though so much I sometimes wonder if I could ever go there. I would have never in the past, but too much has happened, and because my husband isn't a great communicator, hasn't shared info on his relationship with OW, there are times I think it gives me liscense to say... well he doesn't tell me so why should I tell him things. Intellectually I know that's not healthy and childish, but there's this part of me that thinks, if this is the situation then that's how it is and that's how I can and should be. Logically I think I know better then to fall into something, but I can also see where I need to be careful as well. I hope that makes sense...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
