why don't I listen to my own stories?

[NikB]

Dom - no, that doesn't answer my question actually, but glad you posted that so I could clarify.

Agent99 you have a class Saturday morning. That is GREAT!! Enjoy every minute of it.

Now - what are you doing Friday night? Saturday afternoon and night? Sunday?? I'm going to take a guess that you're waiting for H to answer that question for you, to fill up your weekend, to keep you entertained. I hope I'm wrong... but based on your post about waiting for him to call, I doubt it. He doesn't WANT the role of your only friend, your entertainment coordinator, sole provider of your fun and happiness.. it's too much.

I think you really need to do one of two things to take control of this weekend issue:

1. Invite H to something. Not a vague "let's do something this weekend" but something very specific. Invite him to a movie, to go skydiving, whatever it is. Be prepared to be rejected, and if he's wishy-washy consider it a no (and don't ask again). If he goes - cool! You get some time together, and you've stepped up and taken some kind of control of your life and your time again. If he doesn't - oh well! Do whatever it was by yourself or with a friend, or plan something else fun and fulfilling.

2. Plan your weekend out FOR YOU. Pretend H doesn't exist, what would you be doing for fun, fulfillment, etc?? Do those things. If he then calls at 5:30 on Friday and wants to see you... oops, too late, you HAVE a life and you already have plans. In fact, I'd challenge you to plan a weekend so full and busy (with things you are looking forward to) that you really don't have time to see him. I'd love to see you do that this weekend but I know it's already Friday - so maybe next weekend. I'm not saying do this ALL the time, I'm saying do it once and really see what happens. I think it'll let you both test H's reaction, and learn a lot about yourself. If it makes you incredibly anxious, it tells you that you are WAY WAY to dependent on your H (at least, that's how I finally realized it).

You read OT's water cooler post right? I see you as the person jumping up to rush over to the water cooler the second you see the other person headed in that direction. In fact you're sitting at your desk just HOPING the other person MIGHT get up and go get some water.

I've seen myself that way numerous times so I'm not trying to beat you up, just trying to help you see it from an outside perspective and especially see WHY it's so harmful to you and your M.