H finally made good on his promise. Pretty sure he went on date last night. He made a big deal about getting out of the house and getting ready to go somewhere while I was packing up D4 for the next couple of nights. I didn't think anything of it...except the man hasn't left the house for a social anything in years. I ended up having to call because D4 broke her DVD machine and I had no idea how to fix it. She was having a complete meltdown. I called and he was at a bar. I could here the DJ or whoever talking in back ground. I was surprised. Then I was somewhat excited...wow he actually is GAL. Then a little irritated that this was one of the big problems in our M. He never wanted to do this stuff and def didn't want me doing it. So why all of sudden is he interested in doing this, esp since he never wanted to do it with me? No pun intended he never wanted to do ANYTHING with me.
I guess this is just one of those things. For years he wouldn't go to therapy, I leave, he wants therapy. Would never be social, now I am gone and he wants to date someone else...now he's a social butterfly. I really feel like he just doesn't want to work on this anymore. Its one of those clarifying moments that I think we all have...oh, he wasn't attracted to me, controlled me, belittled me, never treated my like an equal, put me down physically, did not have a physical relationship with me for years...Hello, someone hit me with a 2'4. Tell me again why I should want to be involved with this donkey? Its becoming very clear to me, that not only is the problem his, it seems that his problem was not be into me...
I am not going the next 3 years of my life being lonely. It may be time to cut & run as they say. I am already out of the house, he has told me he wants to date others. Why should I sit home and pick apples while he is out trying to date other people?
Obviously he wants to be physical with someone...just not me. Why bother dating if that was really the problem to begin with?
Thats my mini rant for the day.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
