WOW you are getting to be one of the KINGS of DBing and GAL, and YES it does work it has for me so far too as things are going well right now.
Im'e glad you had a good time at the wedding and se* cool. This is at least some connection
You are doing so good.
It does sound like depression to me and i think you need to read the DR book the part on depression if you have'nt already.
It is good if she is not going out and drinking as this only deepens depression if it is in eccess.
In my OP it sounds like she is trying to find her way back to you so keep up the good work and remember to try to find sitches where you can work to DB and be together as much as you are GAL. I think you trying to kiss her even though she pulled away told her that you are still interested but your GAL says may be not forever, I deserve happiness too. Could be good. Do you know what I mean?
So good to see things are going well (even though they are not what you want they are coming along).
I don't know if you have read my sitch at all but H and I are doing good but he refuses to talk about anything and that does bother me off and on. The trust will take a while i guess to.
I will know when the right time to bring the R up is and i think i'll wait a while longer, until i know he feels more at ease.
I probobly should be in piecing but i think i will stay here a while just to be sure.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I wish I could give you advice 65stang. I'm in the same situation. My wife became very close to her work friend and as their closeness escalated, our relationship deteriorated. She's in complete denial about that and blames me for her getting closer. I hope everything turns out okay for you. I'm 2,500 miles away from my wife... so hope is nothing but an idea... it's not tangible for me. All I can recommend is improving yourself and realizing that you don't need someone to be happy. Good luck.
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Sorry it has been so long since I have shown my face around here. Life has been so busy for me over the past few months.
I'll give you an update over the past few months. I was doing great GAL and the GF was still living with me. We both pretty much lived our own separate lives. While I never really showed my frustration with the GF, my blood was really beginning to boil over the entire situation.
About three weeks ago, I just about had it. I was finding out more and more information and seeing more and more with my own eyes. I came home one night from the bar (slightly buzzed) and she arrived home from the bar shortly after (completely wasted). I verbally laid into her like I have never done.
I went into her room and said, "You have two weeks." She looked at me puzzled and said, "Two weeks for what?" I replied, "Two weeks to get the &%$@ out of this apartment." I then proceeded to rip her apart. I told her that I was sick of all the crap that had been going on over the last six months. I asked her why the hell she was still living here when she told me six months ago that she was moving out. Yada, yada.....this went on for about three hours and it was not a pretty sight.
I eventually got her to break down and admit that she was still there because she didn't have anywhere else to go and that she still loved me. This finally broke the ice between us and the vicious cycle that we were in. I told her that I was not going to keep going through this and the ball had to start rolling in a direction...either we try to work on us or she needs to leave.
A few days went by and things were actually pretty good between us. About a week later, I told her that if she wanted to she could sleep with me in our bed. She accepted. Since then, we have been sleeping in the same bed.
That pretty much brings me up to today. With both of us being so busy (her going to back to college full-time and working a full-time job), we really haven't had the opportunity to discuss us. It seems the constant text messaging has died down. However, she does receive a text message or two late in the evening (this could be her brother or "the guy friend" since they both live on the west coast and we are on the east). However, I do know that "the guy friend" still does call her....I am just not sure how frequent it is.
I cannot but help to have my insecurities with our relationship. She was so good at lying straight to my face, I cannot help but wonder if the only reason she is still there is because she has nowhere else to live since she is now back in school. While she still refuses to admit that this other guy was anything more than a friend, I know better. I know way more about her then she thinks I do.
I am not sure what to do now. Do I question her late night text messages? Do I tell her that she needs to cut all ties with this "other friend?" Help!
The "funny thing" is that she refers to the past 6-12 months as her quarter-life crisis (since she is 24 years old).
[/quote]The "funny thing" is that she refers to the past 6-12 months as her quarter-life crisis (since she is 24 years old).
Quote:
Stang, Believe this statement as it sounds like that is what it is.
Sorry to hear from you again. Was hoping that things were good in your world and that you didn't feel the need to be here again.
It was good that you confronted her as it brings everything in the open so that she has to deal with it. Just try not to talk angry and state what needs to be said from here on out (easier said than done).
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I cannot help but wonder if the only reason she is still there is because she has nowhere else to live since she is now back in school.[quote]
She told you that it was but, she also told you that the other reason she was still there was because she loved you.
Yes she may be lying but, she hadn't told you that before when she could have just to stay in the house, why would she now?
If you want to set boundries and will not tolerate the late nite calls then by all means question it, I would since you are supposed to be working on the R.
Overall it sounds like you are not doing half bad. Read the MLC section of DR or on this board to learn more on MLC. Iv'e seen some young ones on here.
Your welcome I'll try to help you any way I can.
Maybe you can come up and give me a ride in your stang some day. With your GF of course.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
cool. This is at least some connection
