Dis, Just caught up on your thread. Don't know about 2 steps forward and 4 back; seems like the reverse to me.
Things have certainly been different day to day. I'm not sure when I wrote the 2 forward / 2 back, but over the past couple of days, its been almost all forward.
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I think I need to do what you did. Totally just give my W space. Hard thing is, I know that she's talking to the once and hopefully not present/future OM on the phone. DBing says let her go, I'm just not sure if that's going to really work. Anyway, you are doing great. You're pushing a little too much. Give her the space that she wants. She's trying.
As much as I tried, I had a hard time giving her as much space as I intended. I know a lot of what I did had a big impact on where we are now, but there certainly were a lot of other factors involved. I still have a lot of unanswered questions about why and how. I know the R with the OG didn't fizzle out. I would have almost preferred to know that was the reason, but who knows how long that would have taken or if it ever would have. I just know that the A is ended and I'm thankful now that she is committed to working on us and we are looking towards the future. I've been reading the "Not Just Friends" book that gives a lot of great recommendations on the healing process after the affair. We still have a lot of work ahead of us, but I'm looking forward to this part.
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From what I read last October/Nov about affairs, it's normal for the other person to grieve the A (as illusionary as that BS relationship is -- sorry, still a little bitter on that score, trying to let it go). It sucks to see and it sucks to know that your W has feelings for another man. She's there with you, you have the tools, you can get through it.
Agree. This is a tough pill to swallow. You're right though, we can get through it and hopefully with a much stronger R than before.
