Corri, My question- Yet, the pain is still as if it happened yesterday, so will I ever get over it? Is that good, that I re-live and therefore make sure "I" am aware of "my" part in the problem or is it my problem now and something I may never get past? The answer, I don't think I will ever get over it. At times I'm not even sure I have truly forgiven H and I know I will never forget. It keeps me on my toes always monitoring the R, wondering if we're OK, never able to relax. It's hard work. It is my problem now, I have to really listen to his needs and meet them. I tell myself if it happens again I am walking out the door with my head high. Yet when a situation presents itself I find myself trying to control H rather than be confident in myself and my R. My brain knows this, yet I react from emotions and feelings. UGH! back to my original question- when those insecure feelings kick in so does my drive. When we have a disagreement my drive goes up. Chemical rush? Competitive reaction?
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. (Amy Bloom)
