Have you sat her down and said something like the following:
----------------------- I love you very much but you must know that after all this time I fully expect to one day soon be making love to you. I'm not going to set a date or build up expectations, but eventually I'll either resume a fully functional sexual relationship with you or we'll have to go our separate ways.
I won't be spending the rest of my life as a celibate and I've been patient while you work on your issues. I'm not going to pressure on this, but you need to know that it's part of a full loving, marital relationship and I expect to resume marital relations with you soon, sexy. - - - - - - - - - - -
You need to fix this deadlock and if you think a third party would help then you need to investigate pro-marriage counselors in your area.
If you're fine living celibate then great for you and all the best, but personally for me that wouldn't be something I'd settle for in a marriage. It's great for best friends, but not married couples. I can understand if there is a physical limitation. If there is a mental limitation on her part I would fully expect she get it handled by a professional as part of my boundry.
Sex is a binding force in marriage and you can do without it, but it enhances the entire relationship.
