Well today has been an emotional day. I spoke with good male friend of both of ours and I talked about how I felt I have been thrown away just like that - this friend has been thru a divorce himself so I don’t know if he is speaking from his experience or he has been talking to H. He said that these things do not just happen like that they a brewing for some time and it just takes something to push it beyond breaking point. Me telling H to get out. I can totally understand this. I was not happy in M at the time but would still love to try and give it a shot as I believe there is a lot of good still left in our R.
I had counseling session yesterday C suggested that I ring H and say you have till Dec 19 to decide whether you want to work on this or not, he believes he has had enough time to decide what he wants. I am conflicted as a lot of our problems are me making demands all the time and my need to have total control so if I say this to my H of course he will run.
Another GF said I have to be able to get closure and move on and I should give him 6 weeks to make moves towards this R or I should have a discussion with H and see what he wants to do. He moved out Sept 4.
Another MF said we should try and start up some sort of communication and build a bridge and that I have not been overly nice to H since all this happened and to give that a couple of weeks.
There has been little contact mostly emails from him about nothing of importance just business info. I have had 2 brief phone conversations. Last time we spoke I got all upset and angry see above post. I have made many changes but we have not been in real contact for him too see them.
I am just so confused about what to do, he has said in the past that lets let nature take its course and see what happens, but he has added that we will see other people and if I meet someone then I meet someone, this has all been said while he was still living at the house but treating it like a hotel so I guess there was still a lot of emotional stuff going on. So I have been given no encouragement that he even wants to try.
I just can’t wait around for ever, it will rip me apart. But I think the best thing I can do is wait for him to make contact with me and be nice and try and build that bridge, I don’t want to have to make any demands but this can’t go on forever but it does take a year in Australia to get a divorce but I won’t be able to live like this for another 11 months. I just hope him spending time living alone will help him miss me and think about the good in our R.
