Oh Delia, I hope you're right about that six months thing. As I'm sure you've felt/feel, right now everything is exquisitely painful and sharp and all too crisp. I long for some selective amnesia. Remember the lessons but forget the pain....
Are you ever right about the yammering! If they repeat it often enough they believe it. It almost makes me question my sanity, like she's trying to "Gaslight" me...almost like I walk into a room where she's rearranged the furniture, and she's standing there telling me "No, you're crazy--the night table has always been on the far side of the room, and the bed has always been opposite the window..."
A friend just wrote to say that my partner is a very angry person right now with a huge chip on her shoulder and thinks that everyone is against her...of course, blaming me for that. She's been civil to me in her text messages, but I guess she's trying to rally the troops at my expense. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. All people know about the OP situation is what the OP has said and what my partner has said or how she's acted. I have only expressed my disappointment and shock, but provided no details. She's lied to friends as well, and that's why people have lost respect for her. If anything, I keep saying "She's not a bad person, she's just behaving very badly now". Although it is her doing, it's hard to see a damaged person that I happen to care about isolating herself by her actions. She really has hitched her wagon to this bright shiny star, and gave up a lot to do so. I guess my friend has spoken to my partner, because she said that the edges of her fantasy world are already crumbling, and the veneer isn't quite so shiny. I'm not asking for details because I don't like people to feel caught in the middle or to go back and forth, but I wonder in what way? And rather than feeling satisfied that her little red wagon has some chips in it already, whether re: the OP, finances, or whatever, I feel sorry for her. I get the image of a little kid holding her breath until she gets her way, then looking around to see that all the adults have left the room. Or maybe I'm just feeling generous this evening. It's weird how you can cry and cry for part of the day, then be bitter, then cry again, then be somewhat numb/magnanimous. At least I was feeling more noble before I had to clean the cat litter a few moments ago--usually her job. Now I'm back to being a bit bitter.
Do you find waking up in the morning the hardest part, or last thing before sleeping? I think mornings are the hardest for me.
"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage." -- Robert Anderson
