I Need Help! Please!!! Sorry Really Long...

[theotherhalf]

You all say to focus on "You". I get that but I really, really, don't know who I am. All my life, all I've ever wanted was to be a farmer's wife, a mom, and a homebody. I had all that and more. And now it is all gone. All except the mom and that I am so grateful for. But D only has this year and next and she will be off to college. After that I have no clue.

I have this big fear that I will end up like my mom. Alone. I cannot get over the fact that I may never be T** *****Y's wife anymore. That I will never be able to walk hand and hand with my best friend again. At this point I can't see past all that.

I have always taken pride in knowing what I wanted in life and getting it. And now, what now? I've tried to look back to the beginning and remember what it was that attracted H to me. I don't have a clue. How I may have been different back then, I really don't know.

I feel so lost.

There honestly hasn't been too many days over the last 23 years that I wouldn't have said. "my cup is overful". And now it seems so empty.