MLC Interruptus?

[In4Ride2]

Hope,

When we came back together last time, and it was really more of an in-house separation, it was a lot of piecing with things becoming progressively more normal. I think it probably was another full year befoe I felt we were fully in that trusting mode (at least for me) and H was "in love'. But it's hard to determine how much his recovery affected things.

Strangely enough his recovery reassured me because with all of the medication, I thought he was more open about his feelings.

I have revised my feelings that he was pretending during any of that time - he was just too happy and affectionate, and also so upbeat about future things.

I think now much of our current problem is related to depression on both our parts, my backsliding behavior because of my depression, and H not completing his MLC. We have just had so much stuff thrown at us in the last 3 years:

-H's accident
-My surgery to have salivary gland removed
-H's back surgery and long recovery (out of work full year)
-H convinces Dr to let him return to work and 6 mos later injures himself again (out of work another year)
-My mother passes away
-Menopause
-H is forced to retire
-Retirement benefits not in place - our income cut by about 40% for 3 months
-Company denies disability benenfits
-Beloved dog has to be put down after months of chemotherapy
-H doesn't quite know what to do with himself
-H's parents start needing care-giving and he's doing most of it
-Me dealing with all this and stressful job sends me over the edge and I start losing my sh*t

So, did he come back too soon. I don't think it was too soon, but we became distracted by so much other stuff we didn't examine exactly what we should do to make sure it didn't happen again. I think H would have completed his MLC journey with me to a happy ending if not disrupted. Maybe he still will.

I accept full responsibility for letting myself forget much of what I had learned and letting old patterns of behavior return. Someone should have given me the old 2x4 smack upside the head.