H has already called me three times today. I can hear some relief in his tone and I can tell he has been trying to justify to me why he did this. I feel badly about that, because I think he feels like he let me down by not being able to keep the house, thus the attempts to justify.
I told him I had only hoped today that things would go as smoothly as possible for him. He said, "It was over quickly."
I asked him what the buyers were like; he said they were very nice people. I hope they take good care of it.
Kind of sad tonight. H is now out driving around looking for a laundromat to do his laundry. Good grief. Sometimes it's hard to believe we've ended up like this.
I really appreciate those of you who posted support today; I needed it.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hi Hope. I know how hard it is to leave your home. Cherish your happy memories. This is what I have been doing. I also thought about all the not so happy times in the last year at the house and how hard it would be to forget them if I stayed there. While I was still in the house it was hard for me to not think of the good times with H and long for them. On the other hand it was hard for me to let go of the hurtful memories. Reminders of both good and bad were always there. If H and I were to get back together I think a fresh start in a new place is not a bad thing.
I'm sorry it was a difficult day for you, it must have been very hard.
My divorce became final on Tuesday, and I realize now that some of the things I dreaded, weren't as bad as I thought they would be. There is a certain relief letting go of a past that can never be brought back in the same form. That's not to say new memories can't be made with your husband, it's just time to put away the old ones.
Shades, I do know what you mean. Definitely there were upsetting memories of the home, esp. in the last year I lived there. It's hard to think of it and know I won't ever be back there though. I think a part of H is a bit sad about it, too. Financially speaking, he just couldn't hold onto it. We lived in a very expensive part of NY state.
lael, Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to find what to be thankful for tonight. I do have a nice apt. and thus, a roof over my head. Things could always be worse. Maybe at some point, I'll have a home that I will love even more.
H called me again. He's fine. He's probably just thinking of me tonight because of this whole house thing.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hope, I hope you feel a bit better today. I know how you must feel about the house and not being able to ever going back there. Have a lovely week-end despite it. HUGS
I was thinking of you this morning and hoping that you aren't pining too much over the loss of your home.
I don't know if this will help, but I can tell you, seeing the changes XH has made to the house actually has been helpful to me...it doesn't look like "our" house anymore and it certainly doesn't look like I had any hand in it!
So maybe, eventually, you would have reached that place too. In any event, I hope you are feeling okay today and have a good weekend planned.
Hope I am so sorry that your beautiful home had to be sold. However, the fact that H is now contacting you again seems to me to be him showing that he needed to do this in order to move along in his journey through the tunnel. Just be there for him as you have been, be patient and I firmly believe that in time you will be together again (if that is what YOU want).
Take care
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Could it be a blessing that you don't live in the home any longer due to the memories you would have of that last year there? The apartment is temporary.
You will be in a wonderful home again. It will be wonderful because it will be all about great new memories. It will help you let go of what was not working. It will reward you for your many sacrifices.
In fact, H may have a troublesome load lifted off his shoulders in this. He may feel bad about losing the house, but with that done, maybe he can let go of some of his burdens and make room for more positives in his life. That could help lead him from his depression, in a direction he is destined to return.
