Thanks DL. That's a line I use about our senior management a lot.
I will just be -- very cool, Limbo. I like that. Actually, that used to sum me up pretty well.
Mini-journal Casey broke down a bit today. She was upset that she couldn't stay with Lauren for girl scouts. She was crying in the car. Trying to cheer her up and she said "you never play with me." That almost got me crying. I have played with her, but haven't been giving her as much attention as I should. Gave her a big hug when we got to my place. Asked her if she was upset that daddy wasn't home. She just nodded and said I miss you. Said I miss you too sweetheart and love you very much. Know you're confused and you can tell mama or daddy how you feel anytime. Hugged on her for a while then she did her homework. Instead of working, took her to swing instead and then we ran races through a huge drainage pipe under a road (she won, of course!). That really sucked.
W and I exchanged emails. Talk about getting the rest of my stuff out of hte house, Casey's bday, logistics. Nothing major.
W brought the rest of my hanging cloths from her closet today (she had packed them this morning; I had planned on getting them when I got teh girls from the bus stop). Our wedding pictures are still up on the wall in the hallway, as is her bouquet (which we had framed) in the bedroom. Curious to see how long both things last.
At any rate, when she came to get casey, she thanked me for bringing Laurent to girl scouts. Said no problem, I'm not doing you a favor, they are my kids, this is just what we have to do you don't have to thank me for doing what I shoudl be doing as a father. That might sound harsh, but she was thanking me like i was domestic help or something.
Minor chit chat while we rounded them up and out the door she went.
She called me a little while ago. Said that I needed to check Lauren's homework, that she had been doing it wrong. Agreed with her (in the past, I would have gotten snippy/angry with her for pointing this out -- don't know why, that's why we are where we are) and tried to explain my thinking. She kept cutting me off. I said, please, just hear me out here. Last year, when I started letting her focus on her homework herself, her self-confidence really took off. I wanted to give her that trust this year. If it's not working, it's not working and I'll focus on helping her with her homework until this rough spot smooths out for her, but I wanted to show her we trusted her from teh beginning. W said, "oh, ok, that makes sense. just check it from now on" replied, roger.
She apologized for being a little short with me. This is where I messed up a bit, instead of just saying thanks, no problem and showing her that I wasn't returning the snippiness (I hadn't), instead I had to EXPLAIN that i know I would have gotten snippy last year, but that I don't want to be that guy and you can tell me these things without me jumping down your throat.
Stupidly asked her if she'd go out with me in a month or two, no expectations. Got an exasperated, I don't know. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I know she doesn't know. Ill advised pressure on my part. (a little part of me did shout huzzah at an 'i don't know' versus a "no"). Regardless, my goal -- Don't do that again, until I'm relatively sure the answer will be yes.
As penance, I need to write "I will not pursue" 1000 times on a blackboard. Minor slip up, quickly apologized, wished her a good night and hung up.
Off to work out. Need to rival GD in a wifebeater. My new goal in life.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
