Thanks for your input. I think when I make the move to talk first, and then act unilaterally if I have to, it will surprise her. Could be a good thing and shake up the status quo, could lead to a D, could lead to neither. I've given up trying to predict her reactions and the future; live the moment. I will have to be prepared for possible scenarios in case they develop, however. I'm seeing a lawyer next week just to get a clear picture of what rights I would have in a D if it comes to that. I should have talked to a lawyer right off the bat, but I'm not losing sleep over the past.
Whatever the case, I have to do something to protect myself. To not act in a case like this is to act. I will try to be calm and reasonable by making an offer to talk it out peacefully (but only after I've spent some $ on myself in the next month!!!) but I will have to gear up for a more confrontational approach if needed.
