Hi, we are not divorced yet, haven't filed, but that may happen soon. That is why I am writing. It was 5 months ago that my W said she was done, ready for the D, and moved out. She's been traveling and staying at a friends house until 9/1 and now has her own apt. We share the kids with each of us getting every other week.
When she first made the big announcement, she wanted to talk every day about the logistics of the D, how the finances will be split, what about holidays with the kids, who gets the car, when can we file, etc. In the last couple of months that has slowed down. We talk almost every day and get along well. I can't tell if she is kind to me because she's not angry any more, or if she has completely detached and just sees me as her friend now.
So, about once a week she asks if I have gotten a lawyer yet. I drag my feet a little because she doesn't seem to be in as big a rush and I'm just buying time. But, then when just when I have hope that maybe she's got second thoughts, she asks me again.
I have an appt tomorrow to see a lawyer and talk about the requirements for filing. We have agreed on most everything, so when we actually file it should be relatively straight forward.
As I said, we seem to be getting along great. We trade emails and IMs, joke and share stories, getting along better than we have in years, but yet she still asks, when am I going to see my lawyer.
Is this common with a WAS? Do I have false hope because she is nice to me. Her mom was in town last weekend and she even brought her over to see me, chatted for about an hour. Whenever she needs anything, she calls me. But still asks if I have seen the lawyer yet.
I have my appt tomorrow. Any suggestions? Should I stall some more, move on with filing to act as if I am getting on with my life, take the opportunity to ask is she is sure about this? What are my next steps. I've been very postive, helped her move in, helped her paint, move furniture, all without any talk about our R. I just act as if I have my own life and I'm helping a friend. Maybe that's why she is friendly to me, she thinks I'm OK with all of this and doesn't feel guilty anymore.
From what she says, she'd like to file next week, but I can't tell if that is what she really wants. Maybe she's just being nice to not hurt me because she knows this is not what I want.
It sure is confusing.... Any suggestions are appreciated
