I guess I too can not let go in part because I believe she will have regrets. Also, our problems are not insurmountable in my opinion. We have a large credit card balance that can be worked down, but otherwise there is no physical or emotional abuse, addiction, unfaithfulness on my part or any other reasons for this action.
She is classic MLC (in my unprofessional opinion), but I simply can not wait the 2-7 years and hope she comes to her senses.
It sounds as if your in-laws believe that you are the bad guy. Too bad. However, I would refrain from showing emails and what not. I made the mistake of opening my big mouth and giving out those kind of details to some people and it got back to my W. She was mad, but realized that while she was wrong in her actions, I was not right in violating her privacy and then divulging those details. We had a meeting and I think everything is clear, but I'm sure that my sharing of information did not help my cause of one day reuniting.
Wishing you the best.
Me: 48 Ex-W: 45 M: Nov '96, together since Oct 93 Bomb: on 10-yr anni - Nov '06 OM Separated: mid-Feb '07 Divorced mid-July '08 One daughter - 28 XW living w/OM