The thing is, he doesn't really want her to be a whore even in his bedroom if he's sexually uncomfortable. He still wants her to want sex less than he. He needs to be one-up, sexually, so to speak. So the message a girl gets is "be a chaste virgin. After we marry, be sexually receptive (to me and only me) like a finely-tuned instrument, but don't ever let me feel you like sex for its own sake".
I'm nodding so hard my head is ready to fall off.
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And that is I think really confusing. And asking the impossible, really. You can't be sexually receptive without being sexual. So what does the woman do? Shrug her shoulders and turn LD.
More nods.
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One thing Schnarch said in his book really struck me: most people will want sex if it's worth having. And I think, being an Instrument is, à la longue, not worth it for most women, at least not once the chemical infatuation wears off.
