All hope is lost/help

[Evie]

I am hopeful. All the time H is still at home i'm hopeful. We talk as normal and get on great, but we are not physically or emotionally connected. Maybe this is enough for him right now. At the back of my mind I still feel as if he may be staying until he has enough money to move out. I just cannot relax. The younger D is starting a job on one of the nights that I do yoga and I said to H that it would mean I would have to give it up (as noone in the house to look after S's)and H replied 'but i'll be here'...so maybe he is planning on been here longer.

Anyway he bathed and put the S's to bed last night as he agreed to do and I sat and read my book for a while and then went to my yoga class. I was pleasant when I came in but I didn't sit and chat as i normally would. I just felt that maybe i'm not emotionally distant enough with him which may lead him to believe that I think the situation is back to normal with nothing more or nothing less. I am waffling and probably not making any sense? I want him to notice that I am stronger and not so needy and dependant on him.

I was a bit down yesterday. I asked him very casually last week if he would like to come to cinema with me on Friday after work. he said he would be too tired, yet yesterday he told me he was going out for a curry with mates after work on friday, I couldn't help but feel the blow and take it personally.

It seems as if H is happy in the house atm and happy for things to calm, but he is not interested in going out with me?

Would welcome any views.

X D