As much as I love my kids and I know it will be hard for me when I am away, I have learned through all of this (last 10 months) that they tend to want the one that isn't there. Also, I don't want all the responsibility on my shoulders; the house, the bills, the kids, the groceries, the laundry, the yard, etc. He will have to look after these things also when he is here. Plus I am hoping he will realize that I am not just stuck here waiting to see if he decides to return.
I have also been through this once before. 12 years ago, he thought he wanted out and we seperated for about 3 weeks. I remember feeling very helpless and it was very difficult each night at bed time to try and explain to my kids why their daddy wasn't home. I want him to have to endure some of the hardship he is leaving in his wake.
I am much stronger and more confident in myself this time around and I am trying to look after me as well as the kids. He is a good father and I am by no means putting them in jeopardy by having him take responsibility for them every other week.
I like to go out with friends and go to the gym and without him around these outings would be restricted and sometimes I really need the distraction in order to keep myself centered while trying to deal with all of this.
I think having a week to focus on me will help me get through this. Whereas, having him leave me all the responsibilites while he does as he pleases, would only make me feel worse.
I could be wrong. This arrangement is only temporary anyway, so we'll see. To start off with at least, we wanted things to be the least disruptive for the kids.
If it's not working (for me or the kids) I will come home permanently and ask him to leave.
