More often than not, the WAS leaves because the WAS is running away from themselves and their own unhappiness. (The OP thing goes with that but it is not the cause.) Lots of people here are divorced. I got divorced and am very happy that I did so.
To be perfectly frank, my concern has nothing to do with your M. Unless your H changed significantly, he clearly brings significant problems to your M that may make it not worth saving. BUT, real and significant change is very possible when a M is recognized as truly being at stake. So, your H might come around.
My concern is that you are a WAW, that you are running away from yourself and from confronting your own issues that will continue to interfere in any R you have. Your unwillingness to risk exposure of yourself *to yourself* at retrouvaille or a similar program speaks loudly to a fear of coming to grips with your own issues.
First you wouldn't do anything because H wouldn't agree. Well, he did agree. Now you won't do anything unless he instigates. My guess is that if he does instigate you will still decline to go. I participated in your other thread. I have seen you avoid confrontation with yourself repeatedly, including in your move to this forum. For your own sake, it is important that you try to break through past your childhood issues for your current R or any other adult R in your life.
