Trying to get WAW back

[DaveJ]

So journaling a little. Went to the doctor this morning. They said they don't put you on anti-depressant unless you are depressed for 3 months. Don't really think I need it anyways. Been dealing with things better as everyday go by. Today I actually feel pretty good since all the craziness started. Got some anti-anxiety medication just in case. One of those days will probably come and might as well be prepared to have backup.

Big thing for me Friday night. I found God. It's nice to know there's someone you can fall back on when things are going tough. That has removed a lot of the anxieties and make things a lot easier to feel ok. It's a very nice feeling. And also the side effect of that seems to be the W is slowly becoming more open to me. I guess it was a shock to her since for years I wasn't open to that.

Last night I went and saw the kids. They were behaving pretty bad but that didn't seem to bother either of us too much. W decided that she wants to go to the bookstore. We got some books for the kids and she got me a bible as a present. So that was really nice. When at home I leaned in for a kiss, expecting just a little peck as usual, it ended up she started really kissing me. Got a couple of REALLY nice kisses and then she stopped herself. Guess that is expected.... But it's nice to know that when she is ready the feelings are definitely there. When I was leaving, she said ILY to me. That was a pleasant surprise. I don't expect her to do that all the time but it was nice to hear.