I think I am sick...truly, I think I am sick in the head. H just called, he can't come over tonight, is a bit swamped and won't get out for a bit and by the time he would get here, the kids would be more than ready for bed (you can push my kids to 7:30, but any later and they become bears).
he was obviously upset about not coming, even though he's going to come tomorrow night to make up for it. but I felt so bad for him...he started to cry and I asked if he was okay and he just said, no, he isn't. breaks my heart. I hate when he is hurting...how twisted is that? he misses the kids so much, and they miss him. I will never understand the choices he has made here, it frustrates me to no end, but still, I just hurt when he does.
of course, I also start reading into things, because this is me after all. maybe the new job isn't going well (ack!, please god, no), maybe ow is cheating on him! or more likely, maybe ow is pressuring him to D me! maybe he is starting to understand the repercussions of his actions!
but I'm also far enough into things to stop myself, realize that is a fruitless endeavor, and try to shift the focus back to me. since I won't be boot shopping, think I'm going to take it easy tonight...going to curl up on the couch and watch some more arrested development. omg, is that one funny show.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
