I like you have manipulated my wife throughout our M also. For me the manipulation stemmed from my anger and low self esteem. Since working on my own happiness and my anger I have overcome my need to manipulate for the most part. When we feel we are losing control we manipulate. Get rid of the need to control and you will not manipulate.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Wow... she is absolutely depressed right now. She looks like I shot her dog.
I don't know what to do. She is so angry with me right now.. I don't know whether to talk to her or leave her alone. I've left her alone for the most part minus any little onesy twosy stuff.
I have read lots on these websites that the OP infatuation can be like drugs and that the separation that a person goes through is like withdrawal. If this OM is honorable and does the right thing by you & your W by cutting all ties then you have a good chance of working things out. Yes, she is going to be mad as a hornet for a while but once she gets over that I bet she will be racked with guilt and depression. Sounds like she is feeling that way now.
Very ballsy of you to converse with the OM but in this case if he is true to his word it may have worked in your favor.
Good luck again with your sitch.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
You crossed her boundaries. The OM is part of her support group and you have compromised him. She is hurt by what you have done. It would be like if had a really good friend who was there for you through all this and she went to that friend and tried to get him involved in her POV. Give her a heartfelt apology, no excuses, no reason for doing it, no explanation.Just apologize to her.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
I agree that you have crossed into her area, but I still think you did the right thing and it looks like the OP could be a good ally to have. Nuggett is right, apologise for contacting the OP and leave it at that.
As to the talking - don't at the moment, let her calm down as anything you say at the moment will be heard the wrong way.
Jarhead I have followed your situation and think you still have a real good shot at getting your W back. Right now you are your own worst enemy don't let her get you angry and emotional and react in a negative way. Don't try and control her.
Me - 34 W - 33 S - 5 D - 4 M - 14 years Bomb 1 Dec 06 Bomb 2 Aug 07 Separated - Aug 07 WAW Renting own place - Dec 07
