Hi Limbo! Thanks for stopping by! Things are still going really well. We're keeping up with the dialogues and still learning alot. I read your posts on your thread. We had very similiar situations...
About the weekend H came home from work early on Friday - sick. He had an awful head cold and wasn't in any condition for anything but sleep. We stood in the livingroom, our bags packed, looking at each other debating whether to stay or go. I wanted to go so badly but was nervous that he wouldn't participate in the weekend because he was so sick. I was also worried that he was ill enough to have to see a doctor. I almost said, Let's just stay home...but then Sara's words floated through my mind "the hardest part is walking in the door." So, I looked at my H and said, we're going. Get your things. I packed cold medication and warm clothes and off we went.
On the way to the hotel (I was driving) H was pointing out all the opportunities we had to turn around and go home - it was driving me nuts at the time - but now I think it's kinda funny.
When we arrived I was surprised to see so many other couples - 17 besides us. I was amazed at the body language of some of the couples there and my H commented that he wished he was wearing his wedding band (he hasn't worn it in 2 years). He said he didn't want to look like one of those guys that wasn't interested in being there. H was pretty skeptical about what he would learn over the weekend and how much effort he would have to put into it - I was just glad we were sitting there and thought, well, it was difficult getting here, but now that we're settled things appear to be progressing.
Neither H nor I actually got a lot out of the presenters. We couldn't really relate to any of the couples. This however does not mean the weekend wasn't profitable. We actually found so much comfort in learning more about one another, connecting on a new level, and discovering truths about ourselves, that it didn't matter whether we could fully relate to them or not. We picked up a few tidbits here and there and we found ourselves nodding in agreement from time to time. They were helpful, but not to the degree I expected them to be. That, however, is a non-issue because we still walked away with a new outlook.
On 3 separate occassions throughout the weekend H thanked me for getting us help. He has thanked me 2 times since then. And he, I feel, got more out of the weekend than I did. He worked hard, even though he was sick, and we both discovered that we have less problems than we thought. We are both looking forward to the follow up sessions that begin this Friday. We have been following the Retrouvaille pattern that is set out during the weekend and find enjoyable to the point that we look forward to talking every day.
I cannot speak highly enough about this program. It has made such a difference in such a short time. I am finally at peace in my marriage and that is something I have never had in all my days of marriage. I've never felt comfortable in it - and now? I can't imagine how much greater our marriage is going to be.
Em
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
