why don't I listen to my own stories?

[Trixi]

Gah! I had well worded post and then my computer froze. Grr.

I saw IC today and she said something about H and his ego. (I hadn't yet told her about the 'intuitive' from yesterday.) So I told her about what the intuitive said and she was vigorously nodding her head the whole time. She said "That exactly what I was trying to figure out how to say a few minutes ago."

She had tried to get H to delve into his family of origin but H would intellectualize it. He would agree that he "should" look at that, but then wouldn't actually go deep. She believes (as does the intuitive) that he is afraid to open his heart and really deal with the family stuff. That when he starts to really feel close to me, he gets scared and his ego takes over.

I think that the "something" that is missing for my H is that he wants someone to be the bridge between his ego/psyche and his heart. Of course, only *he* can actually allow it; but I think he believes that the 'right' person would 'make' it happen.

Now that he is starting to view his parents in less favorable light and is also open to things like "the secret" this might be the best time for him to actually start to deal with the FOO stuff. The intuitive says that when we partner, ideally it is to get to a really deep love where our hearts are open and we process hurts from our childhood. That the man has to be willing to let go of his ego and let the woman help him open his heart. And then they can walk side by side.

I think that now is the time for me to deal with my father issues (my father would say he was coming to get me and never show up, that sort of thing). According to the intuitive, we all come here and find "study partners" to help up us go thru certain lessons. H is in my life to help me heal my father issues, I am here to help him open his heart and deal with his issues. This video (even though it starts out corny) click here for video makes me bawl my eyes out. I see it and just long for that kind of love and protection. I never got it from my dad. Not even close. (FYI- I do NOT see my H as a father figure. I do wish that he would 'protect' me and cherish me, but I see my H as my best friend and partner.)

If H himself can see that he is being a cake eater and that some women would tell him to take a hike until he got his sht together, aren't I disrespecting myself by allowing him in my life; having sex with him?
OTOH, if I was 'seriously' dating a man and wanted to live with him, be married to him , I would probably be having sex with him, so why would I deny someone that is actually my H?