tonight H brought S home from Karate- and came inside. He stayed for about an hour.
The kids asked if he'd seen my room and he asked if I finished. I replied almost. He asked if I really changed it- I replied Yup totally changed it. He came back with that he really didn't like it the other way. I held back- and didn't reply- although my brain screamed- like you even came over or have a say since you moved out. But I didn't. H said he liked it- had more room.
Stayed in the room and talked with the kids for a bit. Then had to leave. He said he'd leave out the garage and I could close the door behind him. I stood waiting to hit the button. (no kiss as he walked by) He asked if that was my trash I said, uh, yup It was D's ob I guess she forgot. He said he'd get it. I met him on the way back and thanked him. Then went in and shut the garage door, went into the house and didn't look back.
H also commented on how I hadn't finished the bottle of wine yet. We laughed over that. He and S demonstrated some new karate suff.
it wasn't bad. I'd say some pretty big steps for H.
sox, that is a great song by Elliott Yamin. Thanks for sharing the link to it. I love the the part in the chorus that says "Why does you pride make you run and hide?"
Here are the complete lyrics.
"Wait For You" by Elliott Yamin
I never felt nothing in the world like this before Now I'm missing you & I'm wishing that you would come back through my door Why did you have to go? You could have let me know So now I'm all alone, Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand And all my tears they keep running down my face Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide? Are you that afraid of me? But I know it's a lie what you keep inside This is not how you wanted to be
So baby I will wait for you Cause I don''t know what else i can do Don't tell me I ran out of time If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you If you think I'm fine it just aint true I really need you in my life No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
It's been a long time since you called me (How could you forget about me) You got me feeling crazy (crazy) How can you walk away, Everything stays the same I just can't do it baby What will it take to make you come back Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me Don't leave me crying.
Baby why can't we just start over again Get it back to the way it was If you give me a chance I can love you right But your telling me it wont be enough
So baby I will wait for you Cause I don''t know what else i can do Don't tell me I ran out of time If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you If you think I'm fine it just ain't true I really need you in my life No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
So why does you pride make you run & hide Are you that afraid of me? But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you Baby I will wait for you If it's the last thing i do
Baby I will wait for you Cause I don''t know what else i can do Don't tell me I ran out of time If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you If you think I'm fine it just ain't true I really need you in my life No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
I'll Be Waiting.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
so I caved, and TM H about having an 'itch'. I ended up going over for Sat night.
H had cleaned his house (remember the email I sent?????? :} ) I came in and got D settled- she had had a nightmare at my house so I suggested a car ride and a different bed would help her settle down (yup it worked).
I laid down on H's bed and he put his arm around me- no waiting- it was immediate and started rubbing my back.
so good signs.
and yes- I got what I needed.
off to do some serious catch up at work- both jobs. I have a lot of typing to do and memos to write and papers to grade and lesson plans to do.
That's been the highlight of my week- I've been grumpy for a while. Well, not during a great dinner with kersting and his crew. Had a blast. Note to self: need to go out more often for drinks.
So, to try to get out of my funk I'm starting to list all the positive things I can think of.....
-it's friday -D competes tomorrow; she's been working hard -my myspace page looks good (finally figured all that out) -did homework with S and we didn't butt heads -I have saved $4800 in less than 1 year -I have $3400 in my pay bill account- AFTER paying all the bills -Plus I still have $400 in my spending checking account and Tuesday is payday. -H talked to me today -H volunteered to take D tonight so she could sleep in and get a good rest for the meet tomorrow -today is Friday -I got rid of a crappy class at gym tomorrow!! (one that ruins my day and makes me grumpy) -I had no parent complaints today at school or the gym -My girls should compete well on Sunday (my first meet as a coach of my own team!!) -it's Friday (did I mention that yet?) -2 days off from school - - - -THE RED SOX CLINCHED THE DIVISION TITLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - - -THE YANKEES DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -THE YANKEES ARE THE WILD CARD!!! - - -THE RED SOX ARE DIVISION CHAMPS!!!!!!!!! -I'm spending some of my extra money of Bocelli tickets (Trip are ya comin??? If I'm goin alone, I'm buying the $200 tickets and getting a hell-uv-a-lot closer to the stage!!)
oh and did I mention the RED SOX WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
D did a great job at her competition. I'm gonna have to get the video up on myspace this week. She was very happy with how she did- so that's good. She did all her skills, didn't fall off the beam, made it over the vault table and did her kip (mount) on the bars herself.
We did dinner after like always, then H asked D what she was doing the next day- with him, or back to the meet with me. D couldn't decide so H looked at me and asked if by chance I had clothes with me. (Duh,of course I thought of that and had clothes!!) So I replied, yup I had clothes I could wear. H suggested I spend the night with at his house and then D could decide in the morning. (almost gave D a high five, but resisted. )
We cuddled during the night and had a great kiss good night. D came with me. S went with H. Later, D and I went back to H's and let ourselves in (open door), found my cell phone I had forgotten and called H. He and S came back. H and I snuggled on the couch and just about fell asleep. THen we took D out for her b-day dinner.
it was a good weekend. Hopefully this week is better than last. last week just stressed me out.
sure, when I get it up I'll post. (the video I mean)
Things go OK and nice and then H goes and talks to the kids about rearranging their rooms or how he's looking into getting them a dog at HIS house. (When I told them I would get them a dog when we bought a house). IT's like he's trying to bait me again- so he has a reason to keep being apart.
