Corri and Cobra, Thank you for getting me thinking. I knew I could rely on those type 5/6 investigative minds!
Here's what I am thinking: I am working too hard to create comfort, which shuts me down sexually. I have to try to leave a little room for tension and drama, but not let it get out of hand, in order to keep some spice and interest in the relationship. It reminds me of Schnarch's growth and comfort phases...I need a way of integrating the two.
Cobra, I do think my H got energized by me back in the day, and when I shut down, it was abandoning to him. He was the one to do this chaotic thing, have the affair, but at baseline he was the more calm one. And I am angry that instead of trying to help me with my depression, he escaped in this way. But the tension of all that did bring us closer, and now that things are better, I feel that familiar numb LD feeling. Maybe it is boredom.
Corri, the Radical Honesty thing sounds interesting...kind of like pushing the emotional limits, and that is a thrill and growth, esp for a type 4. Thanks for the suggestion. I just may be at another level in the game.
