You might ask yourself why you feel the need to convince people here that it's okay to leave your marriage. I'm not saying you shouldn't want to convince this group... just ask yourself why it's important to you.
I guess for a couple of reasons.
One is that I started my journey here and I wanted to finish it here. And, the other is because I was hoping to hear someone say, you go girl, I've been where you are and I'm glad I'm divorced or something to that affect.
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It's like you're hesitant to do anything because you're not sure you're committed to the full journey and the final destination.
Been there and done that and divorce isn't pretty, no matter if there is a fault or not. It brings the worse out in people and I'm not looking forward to all this legal entangling. It's frustrating and highly volitile.
I can't choose to do nothing, that keeps me stuck and I can't live like that. I've been taking one day at a time for over 2 years and I feel like I can't move, if I want to have me time, I feel guilty, if I want to hang out with friends, I feel guilty, if I spend time with my kids, I feel guilty and that is because I have a H home pouting wondering why I would rather be with them and not him. Example, I didn't want to go fishing this past weekend. My son from my previous marriage wanted to go and so did my H so I told them to go and leave me at home. That didn't set well with my H, who pouted and told me to call my son and tell him we weren't going. So to keep peace, I went, otherwise I have to put up with my H pouting and my S pouting. It was just easier to go. I can't breathe, I feel as though my H is waiting for me to make a mistake so he can feel better about why we're getting a divorce. I feel like he wants to catch me doing something to lessen his responsibility for the break-up.
Okay, you may be thinking well can't you do this within your M? Yes, of course I can, but I can't move with the ease I want to. I feel like I have to account for my whereabouts, not that my H expects me to tell him, but he will ask questions and out of respect I answer them, but really I don't feel like I should have to answer to him.
Hopefully I'm not rambling and you get the gist of this.
