[/quote]Your right, the obcessive hatred of OW does take its toll. When I see her it makes my stomach turn. When he and I were separated and I knew he was seeing her I didn't care for her, but I didn't feel this seething anger and hate for her either. Now with our current situation and trying to make this R work and her staying involved I am really having issues. [quote]
SO2,
YA know how I look at OW? Mostly with pity. There are times i could say I hate her but what good would that do. Doesn't change anything at all. Now I look at it as, it happened and it might have had to happen for a reason(to make us work on a better M). Doesn't make it right though.
No you don't want to be in denial. You are supposed to be piecing the R back together, so you have every right to think that is what XH is working on too.(without OW in the pic.)it is because he is trying to have it both ways that you feel the need to snoop.
No it's not good to snoop but, if you are using it to handle things in the R and not to make yourself feel worse I say do what your heart says, and your gut tells you. You have been pretty spot on so far.
Keep staying semi dark. I would suggest that if H call and ask if he could spend the nite again, tell him you just don't feel that he should that you need time to yourself. Remember Dr book, it says to except some but not all invites and to not answer every call let vm pick up then call back after a couple of times. Lets them know you are not waiting in the wings for them and that they better get their act together or they could loose you.
Sounds like it might be working in your case because he is calling right back. I feel he might be seeing how far he can push you as far as the cake eating. Hold on steady and keep up the good work.
Even if you stay backed off and he gets upset look at it as a positive. H may be frustrated at not getting his own way but, it might make him do some thinking about your R. At least it is a reaction.
Most of all do these things for you and your own peace of mind.
Do you feel better about you, by confronting him?
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
