OK, birthday went OK up to a point and then I spoilt it by being needy again. Upset W and then me. Kids then picked up on vibe and were awkward all day.
Presents went down fine and W is wearing nightwear, so still hanging in there, but finding it soo hard at the moment - questioning my resolve and sanity.
Negative points, W lost it big time this morning (again children acting up) and I complained that she was only thinking of her work and not mine (stupid I know). But the reaction was way over the top. I stayed completely calm and held her - again she blamed our conversation last Thursday and Sunday and the fact that she felt like she was constantly 'walking on eggshells' (and she's the one that's having an affair).
At one point she said 'I'm not a complete B**ch you know' and indicated that that was the way I thought of her. I stated that I had never called her that and that I still loved her.
Plus points: I then received a text from her later saying sorry, phoned to say hi and acted light.
So the Pamar rollercoaster is all over the place at the moment. Going to act 'as if' tonight and not raise any issues - that will be up to her.
Also had a long chat yesterday with a mutual friend (she is seperated), who questioned how long I would wait. W has talked to her, but doesn't seem to want to hear the advice, so we assume that the only person she is truly listening to is the OP.
OK, got to sort the children's dinner out now - not feeling 100%, but I will act perfectly tonight.
