I agree with Theo. IMHO, it is good to let him know you are not happy with the situation, so showing that you are upset (with clearly stated reasons) are OK. But not all the time. At the same time, being super nice to him all the time may lead him to think that cake eating is fine. So there needs to be a balance.
I am guessing that he fears about you leaving. That's why he is so concerned about your being upset. When you go dark, detach, he will get a taste of life without you. At some point, he knows he needs to make a decision, you or OW. If he is still crazy, he will choose OW, but it seems like he is coming out of the fog because he does care about you and tried to please you. So hopefully he will choose you and really work on cutting off the contact (which will be tough as you know my sitch).
I find out that everything we have an argument, I need to give him some space to ponder about our argument. During the argument, we may not be totally rational. But afterwards, his actions will show where his heart is.
