Chrome - how right you are about not interested in finding the right person! I'm not in that frame of mind. I truly think men are scum and I'm sick and tired of being told that in order for me to be whole person, I have to have someone in my life. That's reading between lines here but that's the impression I get from some of the posts.
OT, I have a lot of childhood issues, but I'm still in IC so I'm working through those with him. The pamplet that I received from Ret stated that the program is designed for those that are committed in making their M work. It was all there in black and white. Have you been? If so, did it help your M or help you individually.
Look, my H had an A and while that's enough biblically and legally to divorce my H that isn't the entire reason. There are others. Yes, my H is remorseful, yes, he's tried and yes, I have tried. Have I tried everything? No, of course not. But you know what? I've tried enough things to find peace in my decision.
Gwyn, I'm not here to judge your decision. Only YOU know the full exptent of your situation. Just please make sure in your mind that this is what YOU want and need to do.
Different situation, but my ex-wife filed for divorce after her affair. She had made it up in her mind that I would not be able to get past her affair. We seperated at her request, I moved out at her request. Said "she needed time." She didn't mention divorce, "just needed time" Didn't take much time ! Next thing I know I'm getting divorce papers on Christmas Eve. If it wasn't bad enough getting kicked in the groin region by the affair, the timing of the papers kind of dropped me to the other knee.
Shortly after the D was final, chance would have it that I met my future /current wife (that's another story but I'm working on a happing ending.. or should I say a happy new beginning) I wasn't looking. In fact, a relationship of any type was the last thing on my mind, it just happened. I was moving on and then I received a call from the ex wanting to NOW try and work things out. I'm sorry, it was too late at this point.
Gwyn, my point is, be absolutely sure you are ready to let him go. And be absolutely sure that YOU are prepared for him to move on without you. Make sure that it is the right decision for you, don't second guess like me ex did. She was not absolutely sure when she jumped into her decision. Last I talked with her she was still hurting and she feels in her heart that she made the wrong choice but it was too late. I know many will probably tell me that I shouldn't feel responsible for HER hurt, it was HER choice, etc... But I do, I still hurt.
"I truly think men are scum"
Don't be like this. I probably fit the mold, but for the most part we men are OK. Don't judge us all by the actions of a few.
