Being upset only works for so long. WHen you are upset -- say why. This is fine if most of the time you are not upset.
Living in constantly pissy mood because your husband is still in contact with OW does neither you nor your husband any good -- it's not attractive.
Since he refuses to give her up. I think you might consider the "I'm moving on and I'm not investing in you speech." and then go dark. Detach, have fun, GAL and disengage from his craziness.
Otherwise you'll both wear each other out. He needs the space of your emotional absence to really take stock. He won't like it, but it'll probably help him clarify things in his mind one way or the other. Look if he's ultimately going to be with OW --you have no choice but to disengage and move on. Better to get this moving along.
