Chrome, We started talking weeks ago about the rage you feel at times but never went into depth. Have you thought much about where your rage comes from and possibly what the real emotion behind it might be? A friend's husband seems to have a similar issue as you described with your kids. Her 9 month old daughter woke up early one morning last week and was screaming and crying continuously (yes it is an ear infection). They were in her daughter's room but she could hear her H raging in their bedroom ("What is $%^ing wrong with that kid? Why can't she *(&^ing shut up?" and on and on) So my friend asks me in all seriousness "why was he doing that? Can't he tell that she's just a baby with something wrong? What is it about her crying (and he was the same with their son too) which makes him angry?" Obviously I don't understand either but I thought you might be able to share some insight. I told her that you how you would rage (inwardly compared with him but still rage) when your kids cried with colic. One guess I have is that it is the feeling of NOT being able to do something that creates this feeling of rage in men?? So the feeling of helplessness becomes rage?? Total guess!!

Also, as far as sharing your feelings with your wife, how do you do this – when, what do you say, etc.? The two of you need to develop a way of sharing feelings that feels safe for both of you. The idea of trust is key and I think a lot of it can start with you. Once you feel like you trust yourself to be able to get through all of this, then she can feel more comfortable hearing your problems because she can sense you trust in yourself? Does that make sense? (seriously because I am not so sure about it)

GGB, I agree with your points but their relationship might not be where yours is with your wife. What I remember from Chrome is that his wife is actually extra sensitive to his moods because of some past issues they had. She didn't even like hearing that he was going to individual counseling for himself. (Is this still true?)

To be clear, that doesn't mean that I think Chrome should hold back his feelings. Just that he made need to pay extra attention in how much he shares, when he shares and how he states his feelings.



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus