my mom said she felt bad for me. She had worried that this was going to happen, but she knew there wasn't much she could do about it. And she said "I'll always be your mom". Now I spent decades avoiding the whole subject with her because I dreaded hearing those very words - spoken as an accusation. But they weren't... she was reassuring me (How's that for loving (and not cold) differentiation?), although I spent a few moments launching into a reaction of trying to reassure her before I really heard what she said and how she said it and calmed down and thanked her.
CE, That is a great exchange with your mom!! You may be moving toward a profound difference in your relationship with your mom. That point where you understand that your childhood was not all it could or should have been but acceptance (and forgiveness) for what it was and realization that it all is in the past. And if you and your mom both reach this realization about the past, then your current relationship can be based on the way you and your mom are TODAY and not based upon the way you USED to be. KWIM??
Really interesting ideas about dealing with your own FOO issues and leaving your wife's FOO to her. I think being aware of a spouse's FOO issues can be useful. Fixing their FOO issues, especially if they are not aware of them or aren't ready to fix them, is probably not the best use of your time and energy!!
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
