I miss my HD self ( pity party begins, as I take the Chair and Chocolate from LFL). I miss having those zingy, tingly feelings running through my body. I am upset with myself that the way my brain gets activated is by unconsciously picking up on my H's emotional withdrawal. I feel bad that I seem to shut down when the relationship is better.
When I am in this mode, I resent H and his neediness. I forget what it's like to be in HD shoes. I begin to think that my H is this narcissist who wants me to feed his ego. I feel engulfed by his needs, and I don't want to give.
