Now I've done it... again

[mkultra]

My D6's TH basically said the same thing your L said, so I think it is good that you filed, just IMHO. This does not mean you are pro divorce or that you need to stop DBing. You did what you could in your power to cease or bust a D. You do not need to be a doormat or fund his lifestyle. You have protected your boundaries to the best of your ability.

Now, stop snooping. Cut financial ties. If you cannot agree to child support use the L or a mediator if that is cheaper. He is lost and he may find his way back once he gets through his resentment. He probably does miss the kids and I bet he misses you but for now, you are doing great being independent.

The thing is you are a nursing mom with a newborn. You are supposed to be resting and building up your milk supply! That is why I did not work for years! It is hard work staying commited to breastfeeding so yes, we need the father to support what we feel is best for the kids! That is the job a good father, to be a good husband and provider. Sorry to sound old fashioned, but I worked for 20 years, but not while I was with a newborn! It frustrates me that at the very moment you need to be dependent on someone you have to show how independent you are!

I am very proud of you. Your kids will give you a medal someday if they ever find out what you had to go through when they were so young and helpless.