Well I learnt a lesson this week – unfortunately the hard way.
H was coming to do his washing on Monday and I had it all planned in my head we would have a nice chat and you know start building that bridge, well when he was not here by the time I left I was so upset and disappointed. He rang me a couple of times I ignored most calls when we spoke he wanted the password for my PC I told him I did not want to give it as I had personal stuff on PC he got angry and said as if I want to go through your stuff and then said fine and hung up on me – I felt really bad and rang him back and gave it to him - I had cleared all the history and stuff anyway so there was nothing for him to see. He tried to make small talk but I just can’t do it at this time, I said we need to get together to have a talk he said about what I said what’s going on and he said well I am busy this weekend, I said well you ring me when you are available.
Again I was making demands and what is there really to talk about, I feel it would be just rehashing the same old thing and me wanting answers. I am not ready to talk to him at this time there is still to much hurt and anger on my part and I just get so caught up in myself feelings. I got an email off him today sending me some pictures of a friend’s new baby – he wrote
“Didn’t know if you wanted or got these – anyway”
I just replied - thanks for forwarding on.
It just feels like we have no connection what so ever and I just can’t fake it and be his friend at this time, my thoughts are to leave it all be for now and not see or have any contact with him for a couple of months until I feel stronger to deal with everything.
Is this a productive way to go, as I am worried that the more time that passes the harder it will be to reconcile.
