is your w satisfied with this relationship? perhaps she has shut down somewhat to protect herself from her feelings about herself and what she has done?
have you tried the, "honey, i just love hearing you say you love me everyday! or "honey, it feels so great to have you next to me"? it's like when i talk to my preschoolers, i try to catch them doing something positive then i make a big deal about it. it really works on my h too!
seriously, it is natural to be discouraged. after the pain you have gone through you deserve so much love and to be emotionally cared for. it is unfair that we have to do all the work to get our s back, than have to keep doing the work to get the relationship good, and at the same time have to heal and deal with all the pain our s have caused.
i also get pissed that on top of that my h was having a grand time partying and screwing around. he admits he enjoyed the affairs, although he deeply regrets them now. i couldn't even hold solids down and he was giddy with passion and pleasure in his freedom!!!!!!!!!!!oh, who's thread is this? sorry, forgot i was visiting.
doesn't help you much at all, but i really think i understand. you deserve to be loved completetly in every way. lisa
