How to cope for so long - losing it!

[BluePoet]

H has been AWOL for 1 month - no idea where he even lives.

If he's like my ex-h, keep not pursuing and give it time. Remember sometimes this has to do with how they grew up. If they feel like they are "getting away" with something, they don't want to leave clues.

FINALLY after the D is final and we're closing up most of the financial issues, I got ex-h to admit he's living with his girlfriend. I told him if he's really detached, then he needs to stop "protecting me" from the truth and that since I expected it anyway, it's not like it wasn't obvious. He admitted it finally and it feels better when talking to him now because it's not like he has to hide.

Yeah, why they hide like that is silly and childish. But childhood (midlife crisis) issues bring up those kinds of behaviors.

All the best,