no gym for me. by the time h got here I was just too tired to move...my body felt like spaghetti. I ended up going upstairs and laying down while he played with the kids. think I'll be feeling well enough tomorrow, I just felt too drained to do anything tonight.
h was fine. it was weird, actually. he has that buzz about him...the excitement of the trip this friday, almost like an aura around him. I understand it, I do...I get like that, too. I love to travel, especially with someone I care about. and if I'm honest, I understand that that is exactly what he is doing...going somewhere fun with someone he cares about.
I, on the other hand, am crushed by it. but hey, just again shows how we are in two very different places and I need to find a way to accept that for good. just keep on detaching, its getting me there.
funny, how still I expect/hope him to see/appreciate me. the house looked great, new fall decorations out front, roasted chicken for dinner with apple crisp for dessert. yes, he came after dinner was cleared (my kids want to eat at 5pm on the dot, without fail) but still, it was weird that he didn't make a plate for himself. how's that for inconsistency...I comment when he makes himself and home and eats the food here, but then I'm offended when he doesn't. lol. he didn't say a word about any of it.
yeah, I know, I don't need his validation on anything I do. I do it for me, I do it for my kids, not for him. but my response shows me that there is still a part of me that is still hoping. guessing that will fade over time.
one month from today is our 10 year anniversary. yeah, I know i need to let that go, too. I'm a sentimental person, so days are very important to me. and it just makes me a little sad I guess.
don't get me wrong, I am okay, and know I'm going to be okay. I really do see that I am and will be. but still, a little sad.
funny moment...again, h and I and our parallel lives. he is bummed because next week is his old company's national sales meeting, and he won't be there for the first time. he's bummed, feels a little left out, told me next week will be hard for him. he just doesn't see the humor in it...doesn't see the parallel, his responses so similar to mine, but mine are about us/our R. I don't bring up how the similarities, just kind of look at them myself, I just think its funny how clueless he is.
Last edited by morgan; 09/19/0712:10 AM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
