Now what? Wait it out?

[Tara_9]

I am heading out for a walk right after this. I read the letter she left at my parents. She apologized for being so mean, saying that she wants me to hate her to alleviate the guilt she feels. She then went on to say that it was me who started the conversation that led to her say she was leaving, and said that she immediately felt relieved. That she said what she had been wanting to do for 4+ years (this has changed from 5 months, to 1 year, and now we've jumped to over 4 years). Which is it? All true? None true? She said that the fact the OP gave her an ultimatum the night before was coincidental. That this person she met a month and a half ago is the one she's meant to be with and that she was never happy with our life. But I was there--she truly isn't that good an actress. You can tell in her eyes when she's being genuine, and at most I'd say she felt there were issues for a year, since our financial crisis really kicked into high gear. Of course we weren't fun and light. We had real life to deal with! She has one friend in paricular who cheated and left and is now married to the OP, and that couple is encouraging her to stay with her newfound "soulmate". My partner even said the OP didn't want to hurt me--what am I supposed to do, give a her a prize? If she was so bloody concerned about hurting me then back off and tell my partner to do the same if she has so much more sense than my partner! I'm supposed to think the OP is some great person. She finished the letter by saying that I deserved someone who would love me and appreciate al the great things I bring to a relationship, but she is not that person. If I'm so great, why wouldn't she be that person? She wants me to forgive her and wish her well as she "rediscovers myself, embraces life, and finds true happiness" and wishes the same for me. Is she crazy? She has found true happiness in the two weeks she's physically been with the OP. When did she have the chance to rediscover herself? And it ain't life she's embracing, I'll tell you that! Am I a fool? Is this over? Or is this just another part of the cheater/MLC script? Do I respond to the letter? She is still lying about details, and I know what I lived, despite the fact she is rewriting our history...

I'm going for my walk...anyone care to give me their input? I'd like to be able to sleep tonight...and this forum helps calm my mind...