As far as the telling her to go, I meant that literally. I think if I had told her to just run off with the OG, she may have taken me up on that. If you give the permission, it makes the choice easier.
I agree with the mindset you describe in being able and willing to let go. It is something that you should definitely do.
Here's another thing that she mentioned that made her mad when I said it, but helped her in the long run...
I took responsibility for issues in our relationship that got us to the point where she was ready to leave. This irritated her because she wanted it to be all her issues. I guess if she looked at it this way, there was nothing I could do to fix it. With me responsible for some of the issues, then the R becomes something we can both work on (or just me as was the case for a while)
