Sorry to hear you had an off weekend, but it happens ... try not to make too much out of it.
Shiny is right. The Dbing we have done has put us through a tremendous transformation of personal growth where we question and reasses everything. We all go through it.
... and if you believe, love is a choice, then doesn't it go against the grain to chose to love someone that has hurt you so? Of course there will be doubt to whether you made the right decision to such an important choice in your life.
To be totally honest, Jethro, I'm coming up on a year since my W has come back to M and these weeks in April have been the best I can remember in a long time, but even so, but just a couple days ago, I found myself wondering if I could have done better than choosing to be with my W ... as fleeing as those thoughts are ... they're still there just the same.
Quoting Jethro: My thoughts are gravitating to what it would be like to have a real R with someone who really seems to like me.
The ironic thing here Jethro, is in order to develop this new R, you will still need to continue invest the same amount of effort, if not more, and time as you have been up to now. How many women would you have to meet before finding the one that returns affection the way you are searching for and how long would that take. Do you say, I give you three months of dates before I move on?... The point I'm making here, Jethro, is Dbing your W or dating for a new prospect, it all takes effort and time ... no getting around that. At least, you know with your W, you had what you are seaching for once, it can be achieved again. With dating, its purely an unkown. At least this is the conclusion I came to. (As I said, I was wondering too.)
Quoting Jethro: This is the question of the hour, really. I'm not sure that we'll ever get over that plateau...that's what I'm concerned about. Yes, I believe she's committed to our M...now. Yes, she is trying here and there. However,...
To reiterate what your W said, you both are still at a place where you have to move on, so I don't see you being stuck where you are at, so long as you continue to keep the positives going. So try to hang in there for now Jethro. Like the typography of the world, your R is not flat. You may be transversing the plateau or the Great Plains or the open seas, but eventually the landscape will change. Even though, it may not be happen at the rate you desire, your W is going though some personal growth of her own. Lisa is right in that she has to work out coming to terms with what she did, but as your navigator she is telling you, you're heading in the right direction.
Well, this is another long winded post just to say ... Jethro there will be times when you feel this way, but ride them out and they won't last too long and it does gradually get better.
