Well we had a wonderful 10 days together. I only messed up twice with snid comments about OW. The vacation was a success. I got the 5 Languages of Love CD's and took them for the 5 1/2 ride. Told H about them and told him we would only listen to them if he wanted to. It wasn't 1/2 hour into the drive and he asked me to put in one of the CD's. I did and when it was over, I ask him if he was tired of listening or if he wanted to listen to another. He said he wanted to listen to another. So we ended up listen to all of them and then discussing them afterward.
When we got home on Sunday, he hugged me and then started to cry. Which really surprised me. I said please talk to me what is wrong, tell me. Between sobs, he says he has hurt me so much. I said yes, but I can't live in the past, only the now and the future. He cries some more then goes out to the garage.
Monday evening while I'm over at a friends house he leaves me two vm telling me how much fun he had and how much he admired me. Not sure what he means by that. That the time together was making him look at things in a different light and how he didn't want to go back to his friends house where he was living, but understood that he could not come home unless he was 100% committed to me and our marriage. I didn't call him back.
When I got into work this morning I see an e-mail that he sent at 10:00 the night before saying that he had hoped that I would have called him last night after receiving his two vm's. He reiterated how much he loved every minute of our vacation, my brother and how he loved me. He said that in so many ways he wanted his old life back but with no more of the past. Just honesty and that he was leaning toward wanting his wife back too. He had concerns that included
How can I make it up to you? How can you ever forgive me for what I have done? Will you take it out on me, your hurt and anger year after year?
I wrote back to him telling him what a great time I had too and then tried to answer his concerns and told him several of the concerns that I had like how will I know you have zero contact with OW and how would you protect our marriage from this happening again in the future. I haven't heard back from him yet. Oh, and I told him that I got in to late last night to call him back. Which I did, but I want him to think that I was with my imaginary boyfriend. Even if it weren't too late, I would not have called him back.
This really scares me. I don't want to put too much weight on it, as he went to her gym again last night, not mine. He knows this is a HUGH deal to me.
Faith
H 48 W 57 M 15 yrs T 18 yrs No children EA 1/12/06 Moved out 3/10/07 & 8/16/07 Back on 5/18/07 2nd Thread
