Question for Men, please (this is embarassing)

[Dom R]

oops. posting overlap. i'll reply to your reply.

If you feel incapable of forgiving your husband, even when he regrets and is repentant of what he has done... then you are unwilling to forgive.

A marriage cannot survive when one partner is unwilling to forgive. Unless the marriage never undergoes trials.
Do you know of any marriages like that?

My m will never be the same and I've decided that I'm not happy with him and I can't say that I ever will be.

you're right. it will never be the same.
The thing is though... you're not God... you cant see the future.
So you dont KNOW, whether "not the same" will be better, or worse.
Many people who have worked through infidelity in their marriage, say that their marriage is BETTER now, than before.

I have read that you have "been trying" for 3 years.
I think the question you might best think about, though, is not "How hard have I been trying?", or ?"how long have I been trying?" but.. "Have I been trying the RIGHT things?"

There is no "One True Marriage Recovery Way" that works for everyone. Maybe you should look into one or two different ones before giving up.

Going to retrouville is one weekend.
It may bring up something that you have never thought to try.
Worst case... you blow a weekend.
Best case... you learn something, that, even if it doesnt help you with your marriage right now, could help you as a person for the future.