Quote: then again I did have another thought..perhaps it may not be a bad idea to let w know how you feel...that sometimes it does take effort to put on a happy face for her.
conciquences of this may be her saying "well then see...we don't belong together"
Well, not sure how she'd take it. Probably just pressure to her. Every time I say, "W, it would be nice if you did X, Y, or Z," she responds with, "I've been doing A, B, and C. Can't you recognize that?" She does do some things, but she's defensive when I bring up things she doesn't do...then she feels pressure. So, how do I get what I feel I need in an R without ever telling her?!?! I don't think it can be done.
Damned if I do...damned if I don't... I try to communicate effectively with her, but it frequently falls on deaf ears.
Besides, LL, she knows that I put on a happy face even though I don't particularly feel like it. She seems happier when I act as-if, but then she gets what she wants and I do not...mostly it's in the context of her leaving home to go do something, whether it's with a friend or by herself. Our R suffered because she went outside of our M to fulfill her needs, and she continues to go outside our M to do stuff. I'm not saying doing things outside of a M isn't healthy (with friends and such), but not at the expense of not spending enough quality time together.
She's bailing again tonight, I'm going to be home late tomorrow night and Thursday night because of work, and she'll likely want to see her friend Wednesday night. So, already that's four nights of the week that will get toasted.
I'm just so pissed about hearing about how I'm crowding her again! Errr!!! It's such BS. Again, she's feeling crappy about herself and she focuses on our R as being a problem. God forbid that it's really about her and her not meeting her own needs. "Hey W, how about instead of going over to your friend's and getting drunk, stay at home and do a nice little project to boost your PMA? Take care of yourself for crying out loud...because pretty soon I'm not going to be around to do it for you!"
I'm tired of being Mr. Niceguy. I'm tired of having to deal with the A by myself and not putting pressure on my W. I'm tired of not getting what I want from my M. I'm tired...
